::: brightBlueCow :::

Restroom sanitation

noreply@blogger.com (Jeff) — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 05:55:00 +0000

Just a note... If you find yourself in a German toiletten and see on
the wall what looks like hand soap right beside the paper roll...
Don't spray it on your hands. That's not really what it's for and it
doesn't rub in.

Patriotic scrawling

noreply@blogger.com (Jeff) — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 05:51:00 +0000

As seen on a bathroom wall in Heidelberg. While the notion of writing
USA on a bathroom wall in Germany is in itself pretty funny...I love
the fact that someone followed it up with the declaration of America's
mediocrity.

What's for dinner?

noreply@blogger.com (Jeff) — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 17:16:00 +0000

Quick lunch in Heidelberg

noreply@blogger.com (Jeff) — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 12:39:00 +0000

I arrived at the airport terminal at about 8:00am local time. A driver
was there to pick me up and took me to Heidelberg, which was about a
45 minute drive. (aside... There is no speed limit here. It's implied
that you can't go over 130km/hr--~80mph..but few seem to obey.. At one
point we were going 160 (100mph) and got buzzed by a car easily going
200 (125mph)).

I tried not to crash when I got to the hotel but I was so tired from
the plane ride. An Indian couple across the aisle from me had an
infant who cried a lot during the flight. I must have dozed some
though because at one point I awoke to the Ukrainian gentleman sitting
next to me giving the bird to the Indian man... So obviously I missed
something. But I digress. I slept for about two hours after I arrived
and then went for a stroll. Grabbed a quick bite before it started
raining and I headed back. Of course now that I'm back in my room the
sun is coming out.

The lunch? I have no idea. Some kind of ham and cheese on bread. I
just pointed at something and hoped for the best.

Breakfast already

noreply@blogger.com (Jeff) — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 05:08:00 +0000

Microwaved egg and cheese biscuit, cold banana and a tiny orange
juice. Don't forget the warmish cup of coffee (on which was printed
"Caution: Contents may be hot" ... Hmm not this time).

Dinner is served

noreply@blogger.com (Jeff) — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 23:15:00 +0000

Tonight's selection is teriyaki chicken with rice and carrots. Plus
the usual salad, crackers and brownie dessert.

Low-tech phishing

noreply@blogger.com (Jeff) — Sat, 21 Mar 2009 22:52:00 +0000

I've been increasingly impressed with the attention to detail and the level of technical prowess that phishing scammers have exhibited. But today I received a phishing scam email that hit a new low in laziness...or maybe just ineptitude.

Dear Account User

This Email is from Yahoo Customer Care and we are sending it to every
Yahoo Email User Accounts Owner for safety. we are having congestions due
to the anonymous registration of yahoo accounts so we are shutting down
some yahoo accounts and your account was among those to be deleted.We are
sending you this email to so that you can verify and let us know if you
still want to use this account.If you are still interested please confirm
your account by filling the space below.Your User name,password,date of
bith and your country information would be needed to verify your account..

Now here's where it gets really good.

Due to the congestion in all Yahoo users and removal of all unused Yahoo
Accounts, Yahoo would be shutting down all unused Accounts, You will have
to confirm your E-mail by filling out your Login Information below after
clicking the reply button, or your account will be suspended within 24
hours for security reasons.

* Username: ...............................

* Password: ...............................

* Date of Birth: ...........................

* Country Or Territory: ....................

After following the instructions in the sheet, your account will not be
interrupted and will continue as normal. Thanks for your attention to this
request. We apologize for any inconveniences.

Warning!!! Account owner that refuses to update his/her account after
two weeks of receiving this warning will lose his or her account
permanently.

New Year.. new lease

noreply@blogger.com (Jeff) — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 14:45:00 +0000

It's 2009. This was the last new years they could make those fancy new years eve glasses that turn the two center zeros into glasses rims. It will be another millennium before we see that trend come back, and they'll probably think they thought of it...pfff...stupid future-people.

Anyway, we started a new diet. I know it's cliche, but we really needed a change. We were in an eating rut. It's not all about weight loss, it's more about our lifestyle. We decided it was time to eat better foods, and weight loss is just gravy (mmmm gravy). So anyway, we're doing this flat belly diet from Prevention magazine. In the first 4-day jumpstart, I lost 7.8lbs. I feel great and I smell like flaxseed oil.

I feel optimistic about 2009.

On unisex bathroom courtesy: Is it up, or down?

noreply@blogger.com (Jeff) — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 19:17:00 +0000

As the lone male in the house, I learned long ago the sin of leaving the lid up. Several factors have led to me to lid-lowering, an act that is just as customary as flushing or hand-washing. First, there was the 80-pound lab who had no qualms with taking a drink from the big bowl if it was available. Second, was a terrifying story someone once told me about how a toilet flush sends tiny particles straight up in the air like a mushroom cloud, causing bacteria and germs to settle all over, the bulk of which would undoubtedly land on your toothbrush. Last, but not least, is the damning cry of any woman who has ever stumbled to the bathroom in the middle of the night, nearly fell in, and yelled "Who left the seat up!?!?"

So I have no problem with putting the lid down. After all, it is a lid. But I wonder about the unisex public toilet. Should the seat go up, or stay down? Now before my female readers scream "DOWN!" Consider this: 1. It's not a lid, it is a seat. It won't prevent stray dogs from taking a drink, nor does it block any toxic particles that may emanate from the flush. 2. Not every gentleman is as concerned about the seat as I am, and the temptation to just "thread the horseshoe" is often too great, inevitably leading to some sprinkle that YOU will have to wipe off.

So unless someone convinces me otherwise, I will from now on be leaving the seat up in the public unisex toilet. So, should you visit one and find the seat up, remember, I did this for you.

Hey Summer Where Ya Been?

noreply@blogger.com (Jeff) — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 18:04:00 +0000

Time has passed and I'm older since my last post. The truth is absolutely nothing of interest has happened in my life in the past month or so. Not true, not true at all. I've been busy lately. When I'm not at work, and when I'm not spending time with my family, I've been taking on a few extra projects. Recently, I completed an HTML template build for thirdpartylabs, I also started a branding and web development project for a startup called Modes2Learn. Currently I'm working on finishing up that project as well as two additional projects that have come my way, which I will tell you more about later.

Last week we saw the worst couple of days we've had in a long time. We each came down with a 24-hour stomach bug. By each I mean all four members of my family. CG started it rolling on Saturday, then Leigh Ann and the baby Sunday night. I jumped on board mid-Monday. Nothing is worse than 2 parents who feel like heaving constantly having to care for two kids who are feeling much, much better. But we survived. I lost 4 pounds, but I'm over it.

Another day, another browser to support

noreply@blogger.com (Jeff) — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 14:41:00 +0000

As a web designer, I spend about 10% of my time designing and building a web page to standards, and the other 90% making it work consistently in the various browsers. Public enemy #1 is Microsoft Internet Explorer. I'm writing HTML and CSS to support several different versions of IE, each with their own set of rules (quirks). Enter Firefox, the most standards-based browser of its time. Firefox has grown significantly in marketshare over the past few years, but at the same time, it has bloated. Now Apple's Safari is cross-platform, granted not a huge number of Windows users have flocked to it, but it still adds to the mix. Not to mention smaller-share browsers like Opera which also has it's own way of rendering pages. If only we could have just one more browser to support..hmm. anyone?
Google is throwing it's hat into the already-crowded but still heavily Internet-Explorer-leaning browser circus. Firefox has been unable to dethrown Microsoft, maybe Google can. Beginning tomorrow, Google is releasing a beta of its new browser, Chrome. Thankfully, it's based on Webkit, which is the same rendering engine Safari uses. So, standards compliance should be top of the list. The other interesting addition Google is making with Chrome is a multi-threaded approach to tabs. Everyone is used to tabs by now, but the way most browsers use it is still single-threaded. That means when one tab is performing some sort of operation, (executing a javascript for example) the other tabs have to wait their turn. If one of those tabs gets hung up, it could potentially tackle the whole application. Chrome allocates memory to each tab, so every tab is like it's own browser with it's own processes. Closing a tab frees up it's memory. It's a brilliant theory and I hope it works. If so, it will make browsing faster and more reliable (particularly when utilizing web-based applications, of which Google has many).
I'm somewhat hesitant to lend credence to anything that bolsters Google into an even bigger giant than it has already come, but I'm cautiously optimistic about Chrome. Then again, anything that gets someone to abandon Internet Explorer is OK in my book.

I hate TimeWarner cable pt. 2

noreply@blogger.com (Jeff) — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 15:01:00 +0000

After hanging up in a rage of disbelief, I vented by breaking the news to Leigh Ann that I had cancelled cable. Which, along with that also goes internet and phone service. As the rage subsided, I started to realize that maybe it wasn't such a good idea.
So I called back, and let me just take the opportunity to interject here how much I loathe automated phone systems that try to decipher what you say to them. You know what I'm talking about... the overly-polite woman with exaggerated inflection who giggles when she locates your account. What is it about my accent that this robot just doesn't get?
Robot: "Ok.. start by telling me what you want to do. You can say things like "Upgrade service" [giggle] go ahead.
Me: Cancel service
Robot: "You said "Movies on-demand help".. is this correct?
Me: Are you serious?
Robot: [giggle] Ok, let me transfer you to that department.

What's even worse, is if you have a disgruntled 1-year-old in the same room with you. Every time she yells something out, the robot stops what she is saying and says, "I'm sorry, i didn't understand that." Yeah, welcome to my world.

So I finally get transferred to "Retention" (cue ominous music). My plan was I would feign quitting in hopes of being offered a sweet deal to stay. And I have to say, to be called "Retention" they didn't seem too intent on retaining me. I'd recommend TimeWarner change the name of that department to "Retention.. or not, entirely up to you."

I hate TimeWarner cable pt. 1

noreply@blogger.com (Jeff) — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 13:55:00 +0000

Our cable went out. So that prompted me to call my good friends over at TimeWarner Cable this morning. After patronizing tips on how to unplug and reconnect my cable box, I finally got them to understand that my cable was really out. The scheduled a tech to come out between the hours of 1 an 8pm. That's right.. a SEVEN HOUR WINDOW. I reluctantly took it and asked them to check on my account while I had them. See I signed up for digital phone a few weeks ago, and with the deal was supposed to get bundle pricing across the board on TV and internet. Well, the bill the installer brought didn't reflect the savings.

Sure enough, because I was a previous customer, I am not eligible for the savings on those two services. Nevermind that when I signed up online, I entered my account information, told them I was a current customer, and they gave me the reduced price anyway. Nevermind that I "clicked to chat" with "Chuck" online and verified with him that if I am only adding digital phone I will still get the price break on the other services. I was furious.. and I just said, "forget it.. I want to cancel everything!" The truth is TWC has me over a bucket. I've had the two satellite companies out and both have confirmed that due to trees, they can't install. So if I want TV, it has to come from TWC. But, it was her response that was surprising. No sorry. No please reconsider. Just.. please return your equipment to the local branch. I said thanks, I'll do that today.

Cable installers can not be on time

noreply@blogger.com (Jeff) — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 19:19:00 +0000

On Monday, I had cable phone service installed. I didn't really want cable phone service because I'm really happy with Vonage. But, by adding digital phone to my current cable and internet service, I was able to drop my bill by $20/month. Go figure. So, I set up an appointment with the cable installer between 5 and 7 p.m. This is a much smaller window than normal. Usually, it's like 1-5.
So anyway, I was planning on heading home from work a little early that day to be there by 5. But, I got a call at 4 from the installer saying he was ready to come. I told him I wasn't planning on leaving work that early, and he told me I was the last call that day and he would just have to wait around for my appointment. Not wanting to make the poor cable installer wait, I wrapped up quickly and headed home, arriving at around 4:15. I gave him a call back and said I was home, and he said, "Great, I'll be over in 10 minutes." Well, 10 minutes go by. Twenty minutes. Finally at 5:10 I call him and he says he's getting close. WHAT?!? I think there is something in their contract that cable installers cannot be on time. And early? Forget about it.

Or, even better...

noreply@blogger.com (Jeff) — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 18:18:00 +0000

McCain...seasoned.

noreply@blogger.com (Jeff) — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 18:13:00 +0000

This should be used on McCain's campaign site somehow...

Pain in the ear

noreply@blogger.com (Jeff) — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 13:43:00 +0000

I woke up Wednesday morning with a shooting pain in my ear. After a couple of days with a cold, evidently I slept in the same position all night and the drainage made its way into a pool around my tender cochlea. Which responded by turning beet red and ringing.

So a visit to the doctor yielded 10 days of the largest pill I've ever seen (see right). I have to swallow this thing twice a day (the quarter is just for perspective -- I do not have to swallow the quarter).

The good news is that it kicked in pretty quickly and my ear is feeling much better, though it does feel like I have a suction cup over my ear canal. The bad news is that this anti-biotic pretty much wrecks my bowels. I know.. TMI? Feel my pain.

Phishing anyone?

noreply@blogger.com (Jeff) — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 12:38:00 +0000

Phishing: that age-old practice of attempting to get personal information out of someone by falsifying a data collection page. Normally, I can spot a phishing attempt at the email. But today I got a particularly well-done attempt. Check out this landing page.

Notice the URL, cleverly including the Chase official URL. Everything about the page looks official, except of course for the ridiculous notion that Chase would email you and ask you to go enter all of this information that they either already have, or have no business collecting in the first place.

So the moral is, be careful. Phishers are getting better and better. I always like to fill in these forms with dummy information like First name: Yorra, Last name: Djerch.

Bill Gates: the last day at Microsoft

noreply@blogger.com (Jeff) — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 15:46:00 +0000

Quite possibly the most creative thing I've ever seen out of Redmond. Very funny.

Weatherman wins this time...

noreply@blogger.com (Jeff) — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 18:15:00 +0000

After a week of bad predictions, I decided to take my chances on the scooter again today with a 40% chance of rain prediction. Well, the weatherman got it right for a change, and I ended up soaked on the way home from lunch. Soaked. Absolutely... soaked. And face numb from the sting of tiny raindrops.

I guess I can consider it initiation. I knew it was bound to happen eventually if I was going to commit to really commuting daily on the scooter. Oh well.. at least it was just rain and not hail!

Project Make McCain Exciting: Gray Ambition

noreply@blogger.com (Jeff) — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 21:22:00 +0000

Winner: Most Embarrassing product to buy, hands down

noreply@blogger.com (Jeff) — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 13:51:00 +0000

This is why they invented "Self-Checkout" lanes. I don't think this could say "Anal Itch" any larger, or more often. At least it's non-staining.

My name is Jeff and I am a MarioKart addict

noreply@blogger.com (Jeff) — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 03:30:00 +0000

300 miles of scootering

noreply@blogger.com (Jeff) — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 16:00:00 +0000

I just passed the 300 mile mark on my scooter today which means break-
in time is over. They say power and gas mileage starts to improve once
you get it broken in.

300 miles =~$75 in gas money savings!

A full decade of bliss

noreply@blogger.com (Jeff) — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 13:39:00 +0000

Today is Leigh Ann and my 10th anniversary. (I feel a little like Jeremy Piven in Grosse Pointe Blank shouting "Ten Years?!?! Ten Years?!?! TEN YEARS!!!") In some ways it has flown by, in other ways it seems like it has just always been. So much has happened in 10 years, and I have learned a lot about marriage and a lot about myself. Through good times and hard times, I wouldn't trade a day of the last ten years. Well... maybe a few days... a solid week tops.